Mind & EverydayMental model
"The light is green" – four messages in four words.
Friedemann Schulz von Thun described this in 1981: every utterance has four sides – factual content, self-revelation, relationship and appeal. The passenger means the traffic light; the driver hears "you're too slow". Conflict usually starts because sender and receiver stress different sides.
Useful: In a conflict, ask: "which of those did that land as for you?"
Source: de.wikipedia.org